This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.